When You're Too Old For Children's Ministries...

I had a conversation with a youth pastor today that made me think. He asked if I would ever do anything other than children's pastoring in the future. I've been asked and thought about it many times before. But we had just ended a conversation about my father. He's a former children's pastor of almost 30 years and currently the lead pastor of a small church. My youth pastor asked if my dad would ever want to be a children's pastor again.

I cannot speak for my father, but he is an example of several that I know that moved from children's ministry to another ministry when they got older. Will I ever be too old for Children's Ministries? Some move on because they receive directive from God to do something different. Some do it because of physical limitations. But some do it because they feel they have ceased to be relevant to an ever changing culture of new children flowing in to their ministry. To this last group I reply, "Hogwash."

Several teachers in my ministry still serve and teach children in their 70s and they are still doing an amazing job. I remember people who made a difference in my life when I was a child that wouldn't have recognized a single TV show, toy, or video game I liked. They loved. That's all. They loved me and taught me the Bible. You don't need cool illustration videos, flashing lights, and a large VBS to reach kids. As the song says, "All you need is love."

A person does have to pour quality and energy into what they present to kids, but love far outweighs the latest ministry trends. If you do flannel graphs and object lessons well enough, any child will still listen to you if you're giving them a good healthy dose of love. It's not the method that captures a child's attention, it's the deliverer. Anyone who still loves kids and can communicate with quality is still qualified to work with kids no matter how far out of touch they are with current trends. This doesn't diminish the value of such trends and technology as useful additional tools to help you minister effectively, it just means that these are not essentials in order to make a valuable impact.

So someone over 50 please read this and serve in your children's ministry. And to my future self: Please remember what got you into this thing in the first place. Serve the kids. They're more important than the communication methods you choose. You're never too old.

Kids And Tragedy

In my opinion as a Children’s Pastor, I believe the number one thing North American children struggle with is fear.  Sometimes they don’t even know what they’re afraid of or how to articulate how they feel.  When tragedies occur, we adults can sometimes fuel the fear without knowing it just by the way we speak around the children.  When violence or disaster strikes, we panic and wonder how we are going to discuss it with our children.

The answer is that you don’t have to say anything. You simply pray for the people affected and move on.  If the kids bring up the subject, which they probably won’t, you can just help them understand that no matter what terrible things happen to us or around us, God will always take care of us. The bigger of a deal we make out of it, the more we feed the fear. The kids don’t need to worry about such things unless they bring up questions. In which case we simply remind them of Gods promises and move on.

We don’t have to avoid or sugar coat the truth, but violence and sin are not new problems in our world and have been happening every day for thousands of years in every country in the world.  But God’s promises are just as true when we see the tragedies as when we’re not noticing them. 

Philippians 4:6-8

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Let The Trail Carve Your Path

I just had an amazing conversation with Pastor Ray Noah, lead pastor at Portland Christian Center.  I've been digesting it all week.  We were discussing possible changes we wanted to make in our church to alter some patterns that had historically hindered some ministries.  I voiced my opinions about what needed to change and why, then he thought about it and shared this story.

A while ago, Pastor Noah was a pastor at a different church.  They were having building and construction issues that necessitated the pastoral staff offices to be inside a detached outbuilding.  Before the staff relocated, it was requested that a sidewalk or path be put in to allow the staff to get to the offices without walking through the grass and dirt.  A path was immediately put in that led from one particular parking lot to the offices.  As time progressed, most of the staff found that it was more convenient to park elsewhere and walk up to the building from another direction, which became their regular pattern despite the fact that there was no path.  The walkway was seldom used.

A while later, different building and construction issues necessitated the congregation to park in a new location and walk around the building to enter via the main doors.  Pastor Noah notice all these people having to walk through the grass and dirt to enter.  He asked Bryan the building manager to put in a walkway so that people had a nicer and safer place to walk.  A few weeks went by and nothing was done.  Pastor Noah spoke with Bryan and asked if he had forgotten the request for a walkway.  The building manager replied that he had not forgotten, but he was waiting to see where the path formed so he could lay in the walkway where people were already traveling.  Sure enough, a little path began to form where foot traffic was heaviest and a nice winding walkway was placed under the feet of the churchgoers.

As pastors, leaders, and teachers, we have the responsibility for prayerfully seeking God's vision and plan for the people we lead.  We have the responsibility to cast that vision to people and lead them into executing the plan we believe will best attain the goal.  Sometimes we get overambitious and begin to lay the path in front of people without first stopping to consider where they are already walking.  People seldom change their patterns to accommodate the plans of others.  When casing new vision or planning the future of your ministry, make sure you aren't trying to force people into a mold that doesn't fit where they are and what they're already doing.  It's true that sometimes major changes are necessary to get where God wants to lead us and sometimes that means people will not be willing or able to change to follow where God is leading.  Don't be afraid to follow through on big changes just because people don't want to follow you.  But, don't assume you need to change the culture or patterns of your church just so you can make your church or program run the way you want it to.  Watch and listen to people and find out where they are in life.  What do they need?  What are you planning that they perhaps don't need?  What other parts of their lives are demanding their attention?  Watch where the path forms before laying the walkway.

Riding The Seasons

By Philip Hahn

Ever been so crazy and overwhelmed that you feel like important stuff is slipping through the cracks?  You're not alone.  Everyone experiences this busyness that sort of consumes all your time.  In Children's ministries it usually manifests in preparations for the next big event.  Just about the time you finish one big event you're gearing up for the next one.  Kids camps, community outreaches, parties, musicals, VBS, building repair, etc.  God commands rest before work.  It's not a request.  We are not built to live in panic mode.  There have to be times when you say, "No, I can't do that." Sometimes it means giving control of the project or a portion of the project to someone else.  Sometimes it means doing less projects and turning some options down.  But you need times between events and projects where you can slide into a simple routine and give yourself and your church members a respite to simply enjoy business as usual, catch up on smaller details that may have slipped through the cracks and you can get that much needed mental rest and spend time with your family and friends during your off hours.  That's when you get to do what I call riding the seasons.

Riding the seasons means that you have to prepare yourself mentally for the hours and exhaustion of Musical season but you reward yourself and your loved ones by enjoying the season of rest to follow.  Your family and friends know ahead of time that when your in Kids Camp mode, there's going to be two weeks that you're just out of commission.  They have to understand that for a brief season you will be spending less time with them and more time focusing on a large-scale project.  Then when the event concludes you need to spend a little less time at church and ride a season of quality time resting with your loved ones to make up for the time you lost and the time you'll be losing again when the next busy season hits.  The key is to collectively accept seasons of busy, but never live perpetually in panic mode.  You and your church need to understand that you need seasons of rest too.  Accept seasons of busy and ride the waves to the seasons of rest you intentionally work into your calendar.

The Coolest Children's Ministry

If you've ever visited a large church with generous resources, you've probably toured a children's ministry facility that made you weep.  You might see computer check in systems, professional environments, maybe even slides that drop kids from the second floor into their classrooms below.  Inevitably, you return to your own church basement and look at the $12 cardboard backdrop you painted yourself and you weep again.

I've lived on both sides of this scenario and I have one thing to say.  It barely matters at all.  I strive to gather resources I think will improve my ministry to kids.  I've even done it on a zero budget.  After a lifetime in children's ministry I have discovered that I will always try to create the coolest children's ministry I can, BUT it will never be the REASON my children's ministry is cool.  As much as I use the latest music, technology, curriculum, and environments, the thing that makes a ministry is not it's resources but it's content.  In the end, resources only make our job easier; they do not make our job.  Then what makes a ministry in which kids and parents want to stay?  The good news is that these time-tested methods are free, effective, and never go out of style.

Love - It's the most important thing in the universe.  Did the children and parents feel loved? Most kids will never remember a single lesson you teach or game you play, but they will remember how they felt when they were with you.  Ask anyone who grew up in church, nearly all have one or two Sunday School teachers that had a huge impact on their lives but few can remember any of the Bible lessons they taught.  They remember the love.


Truth - Don't water it down for the kids.  Demonstrate the miraculous.  Encourage Bible study and prayer in their daily lives.  Tell them to witness.  Teach the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.  I've seen huge flashy churches with no impact because all they teach is the superficial stuff.  I've also seen young spiritual champions emerge from a single classroom with blank walls spouting more Scripture than most Bible college graduates.  The Word of God and the Holy Spirit were all Jesus had and it's truthfully all you need.


Care - Notice people.  Ask about their lives.  Get personal.  Contact people who visit.  Follow up on everyone.  Call and visit them when they stop coming.  One church I was in started sending out miss-you cards to kids who missed 2 weeks attending.  We saw a 33% jump in attendance, just because we noticed they weren't there.  The bigger you get, the more people you need to accomplish this communication, but it means the world to people.


Leadership - Discipleship is so much more than a student learning from a teacher.  It's a mentor recreating himself in the life of someone who's willing to become just like him.  It's important to create this relationship with the kids but even more important to reproduce yourself in the leadership of your church. One person can only do so much.  You can never grow beyond what your leadership base can handle.  Bring people along side you as you do ministry like Jesus did.  Instill your passion in them.  Give them creative responsibilities.  You'll have a team of loving, truth-spouting, caring people that every family will want to be a part of.

You can have Disney World on your church campus and you'll be selling tickets at the door, but if you don't impact people's lives or exhibit the above traits all you've done is create a theme park.  The things that make an awesome children's ministry aren't bells and whistles, but the free, life-transforming gift of the Holy Spirit demonstrated in people's lives.  That's what's going to keep people coming back.

10 Common Mistakes That Stifle Children's Pastors

By: Roger Fields

  

1. Acting immature to impress kids. Some of the kids might think you’re funny but you will lose the respect of the adults. Don’t expect to be taken seriously by parents, workers or your senior pastor if you dress and act like a goof ball. The way you carry yourself is vital. Women know this instinctively. However, male children’s pastors frequently conduct themselves in ways that stifle respect.

2. Doing everything yourself. Train others on the job to do what you do. Let others make a few mistakes. Give them the chance to grow in their abilities to reach and teach kids. Being a one man show will stifle how much your ministry is able to accomplish.

3. Being afraid of asking for what you think will produce results. There are times when you need to ask for money, space, or even finances to attend a conference, such as Mega Connect. (I just had to throw that in!) Normally, if you don’t ask you will not receive. When you get turned down--and sometimes you will--handle it with maturity. Learn to act like you believe in what you are doing and be prepared to make the case for why you want something. Remember, timidity will stifle your ability to get what you need.

4. Trying to do too many programs. You cannot do everything and be everything. Decide what is most important. Less is more. Doing a lot of stuff halfway will stifle your effectiveness.

5. Talking about your needs instead of your vision. Your needs will not inspire anyone. Getting people excited about your vision works better than trying to make them feel sorry about your needs. For instance, recruiting new workers is easier if you get people to believe in where you are going instead of begging for volunteers based on a worker shortage. Appearing needy will stifle your ability to motivate others.

6. Complaining about the church. Support your pastor and church. If you can’t you should find another church or at least step down. It is really that simple. Resentment will stifle your creativity and energy for the ministry.

7. Neglecting your own faith. Service is a great thing but it does not replace your time with God and your faith in Him. An empty spiritual life will stifle your ability to lead kids and workers into a vibrant faith in God. 

8. Teaching stuff other than the word of God. Teach kids what God has done and who He is. Teach principles from the Bible. If you major on Bible trivia and only teach familiar stories don’t be surprised if the adults in your church treat you like a child care director. Weak Biblical content will stifle your ability to convince others of the validity of children’s ministry.

9. Excusing disorganization. People are not attracted to slackness. When an organization looks sloppy people assume it is not important enough to invest their time, energy and money. Disorganization stifles your capacity to build an inspiring ministry.

10. Repeating the same things and expecting different results. Change something just for the thrill of it. Get people used to change. Don’t be afraid of failure. Be afraid of sliding into irrelevance. Repeating the same old stuff over and over will stifle your forward movement like nothing else.

Puppets Part 2

Puppets still work, IF they are done well.  Here's step 2, operating the puppet.  Keep in mind that some of these skills may come naturally to some, and others it could take months to master, but everyone can learn these basic skills with practice.  The entire goal of manipulating a puppet is to make it seem alive, real, and natural.  No one should perform puppets to children until they feel confident in these basic skills.

Basic Puppet Manipulation

1. Lip Sync- Open the mouth on every syllable.  Avoid biting your words.
2. Lower Lipping- When opening the mouth, drop the jaw. Avoid flipping the lid.
3. Eye Contact- You must look down about 45 degrees to connect with your audience. Remember, they’re below you and the puppet’s eyes are above your hands, look down to compensate.
4. Body Position- The stage should rest about “belly button” height on the puppet. Avoid sinking, leaning on the stage, or standing in a hole.
5. Entrances & Exits- Puppets typically enter and exit as if walking up and down stairs.  Avoid the appearance of elevators, rocket packs, escalators, and trap doors.
6. Life- Keep your puppet alive with head movement, arm movement, body language, and reactions.  Movement doesn’t have to be big, but it should be constant.
7. Characterization- Use appropriate movement for your character.  Adults, children, animals, bullies, monsters, elderly, etc. all move differently.  Move according to your puppet’s character.
8. Ambidexterity- Ooh, big word.  Practice all skills with both hands as much as possible.  You will thank yourself in the future when you can either switch hands when tired or perform two puppets at once. 

Puppets Part 1

Puppets are still a very useful and well-recieved tool for children's ministries... if you do them well.  Here's step 1 for the beginning puppeteer, caring for the tools of the trade.  It's hard for kids to take a puppet seriously when it looks like it's been crushed in a storage room since the '70s.

Dos And Don’ts Of Puppet Care

1. Overall, you should respect the puppets.  They are our ministry tools and cost hundreds of dollars to replace.
2. Pick up and carry puppets by the body or the neck.  Avoid grabbing the head.
3. When putting on a puppet always pull it on from the body.  Never push it onto your hand by pushing the face.
4. Don’t touch the face of the puppets.  Oils from your hands stain the face and grasping the head or face may cause damage.
5. Puppets never bite!  It destroys the mouth.
6. When changing clothes, the clothes go on and off over the soft body, never over the head.
7. Never lay puppets face down.
8. Avoid showing kids “dead” puppets.  Keep them hidden from view when not being used.
9. Carefully put puppets away in their designated areas.

The Primary Influence

Reggie Joiner of the reThink Group has determined that the average child will spend 40 hours a year in church ministry and an average of 3,000 hours influenced by their parents.

Two simple questions:
1. Who's responsibility is it to disciple a child into a follower of Christ?
2. How can you enable the success of this discipleship?

12 characteristics of a successful children's pastor

From Children’s Pastor Philip Hahn

1) Prayer, prayer, and prayer.  Your success is always directly proportional to your prayer life.

2) Getting connected with other children’s pastors, other children’s workers are usually the best answers your questions and give you the best ideas.  We’re in it together, you’re not alone.

3) Your relationship with your senior pastor. Support him and get him to support you.  (Or to put it another way)  Loyalty to the senior pastor and his direction.

4) Keeping current with the methods and illustrations that are relevant to the culture under your ministry.

5) Love and appreciate your volunteers as often as you can, verbally, tangibly, publicly, privately, sincerely.

6) Stay creative.  Change something, do something different or new every year.

7) Involve kids in leadership and hands on ministry.  In 4 to 6 years they become your volunteers and teachers, you not only invest in their future, but yours as well.


8) Train kids to read their Bible and pray every day.  You only have an hour or two of their week.  Let them feed themselves the Word.  (Or to put it another way) Don't just give them a fish, teach them how to fish.

9) Don’t have song time in any service.  Have worship time.  Don’t focus too much on the guitars, actions, or contests.  Make it about connecting with God.

10) Evaluate the effectiveness of all your ministries frequently.  Change or restructure sick programs, pump massive creativity into dying programs, and bury dead programs.

11) Delegate.  Don’t do it all, it’s your job to train the saints for the works of the ministry (Eph 4:12).  If you leave, the ministries should be able to survive without you.

12) Equip and involve parents. Kids average 40 hours a year that you influence their lives.  Kids average 30,000 hours per year influenced by their parents.  Support the primary discipler in their lives.